Troy Polamalu: a millionHair

The hunk you see above has just insured his hair, which is almost 3-feet long, by Head and Shoulders for $1-million. It's dumb, but I get it. Women are attached to their hair. Troy Polamalu (safety for the Pittsburg Steelers) had to get coverage. Let's not forget the incident 4 years ago when Larry Johnson grabbed Polamalu by the hair for the tackle. Johnson will think twice now.

Here's a list of other idiots athletes who insured their body parts:

1. Brett Favre: Quarterback, Minnesota Vikings. If you haven't read his story a la Jersey Shore, check it out here first. I'll wait.

Back? Cool. Let's continue. This guido has insured his right arm for $22.8-million.

2. Wayne Rooney: Striker, Manchester United. This foul mouthed football player (the other kind of football) has insured his feet for over $500,000.

3. Venus Williams: Serena's sister, professional Tennis player. This Williams' sister has insured her wrists for up to $525,000.

4. Joba Chamberlain: Pitcher, New York Yankees. Another right arm, this time insured for a measly $5-million.

5. Cristiano Ronaldo: Winger/Forward, Real Madrid. His legs are insured for $144-million.

6. Merv Hughes: Right-arm Fast Bowler, Australian Cricket player (former). This may be more strange than Polamalu, but it is certainly more badass. He has his moustache insured for $370,000. BAM! Check out that 'stache!

Please comment on what body part you would insure.

Brett Favre: the guy in purple all over sports TV

Update: Brett Favre's weiner has been the talk of the town for months now, to find out why, check out Deadspin.com who exposed the story -- pun intented. Hint: he sent photos of his weiney to a former Jets cheerleader.

Everyone's talking about it. Not whether So You Think You Can Dance Canada will be as exciting as its American counterpart (for the record: it will), but about Brett Favre's return for a 20th season with the NFL, and a second season with the Minnesota Vikings. Fun fact: both Favre and SYTYCD involve shiny purple. And it's pronounced FAR-ve. Not Favre like the way it's spelled. Stupid, I know.

Here's the situation à la Jersey Shore.

Brett: Man, I don't wanna be an incredibly rich quarterback anymore. I just wanna go to the gym, tan, get my squeeze to do my laundry, and fist pump in the club all night. No more beating other people. I want to beat the beats. FTD boii.

Wifey: Like, I get that you want to do your thing and all, but like, how am I supposed to look fly day in day out unless you're bringing in stacks? I still love you though.

*Door bell rings*

Brett: It's my boys! What's up guys? Nice hair cuts. You boys are lookin' fresh (to death).

Pauly D Jared Allen: Hey man, ya FTD fa sho', FTD man.

Steve Hutchinson: We've been sent here for a reason B. Childress [side note: Childress is the Coach of the Vikings] sent us here to beg you to return. You've got to return. Return. You've got to return, man. The hot tub won't be the same without you.

Ryan Longwell: Ya man, the hot tub, the girls, the plays, the championship, just come back man. GTL with your boys one more year. You've psyched us all on retiring three times already. Just make it a fourth and come back. Go for an even 20 seasons.

Brett: You guys have given me a lot to think about, like the workouts, the girls, the hot tubs, the plays on and off the field, know what I'm sayin'! I'm going to schedule a press conference and make a big deal about it, letting everyone know that I'm coming back. None of that LeBron* shit though. I don't think they will expect that. And don't come back here again unless you're three shades darker. You guys need some Mississippi sun.

*Stay tuned to find out why everyone hates LeBron

fin

Hope that helps. Leave comments if anything was unclear.

Also, check out this video: 4 Random Brett Favre Stories

Okay, so you know he played basketball...

Here are the Top 5 things you need to know about Michael Jordan:

5. He starred in the movie Space Jam (yup, that's the guy I'm talking about.)
4. He's best known for playing with the Chicago Bulls, #23
3. He can't make up his mind and has retired from the NBA three times. Once in 1993 where he signed a minor league baseball contract; again in 1999; and a final retirement in 2003.
2. He is also known as His Airness, MJ, Air Jordan, and The Greatest Basketball Player of All Time
1. Jordan is currently the majority owner of the Charlotte Bobcats

Other important things that didn't make the list:
- Nike had a hugely successful campaign designed after him. Remember the silhouette of the guy jumping? (See top of this blog). That's our man.


Donate 10 more seconds of your time and watch one of his dunks. Keep your eye on the red blur: